5 Ways To Combat New-City Loneliness

Me at the Seek Discomfort Moonshot Collection photoshoot.

After my first month of living in LA, I wrote a blog sharing my honest thoughts on what it’s like moving to a new city. You can read that here. One of the topics I touch on in that blog is the topic of loneliness and my first-hand experience with it.

After nearly 3 months of living in LA, I still experience loneliness, but times have changed & I’ve learned a few ways to cope with it. I’m not an expert and I still struggle with these. Nevertheless, sharing these kinds of things not only reminds me of ways to get out of my own holes, but helps educate you & others who may be struggling with new-city loneliness. Let’s jump into things.

#1 — Say yes.

Saying yes when opportunities present themselves to you is one of the quickest ways to combat new-city loneliness. Also, not forgetting that your own mental health & space is just as important, so don’t forget to say no when you need to. The key here is balance.

#2 — Do more of the things you love.

Doing more of the things you love seems like a no-brainer. The magic is doing this in addition to doing less of the things you don’t love. Making time for reading, taking walks, playing games, watching a sunset, going on a hike, cooking, etc. Whatever it is that you love to do. No shame. Just have fun.

#3 — Get out.

One of the best ways to combat new-city loneliness is getting out of your head by actually getting outside. More often than not, I’m someone who gets pretty stuck in my head, thinking about all of my anxieties and worries. 9 times out of 10, getting outside has naturally bumped me out of my head and back into the real world. Whether that be walking to a nearby coffee shop or just taking a stroll around my neighborhood, we are social creatures, and feeding off of the energy of others brings light into our own lives.

#4 — Surround yourself with positive people.

There’s a saying out there that you are the product of the 5 closest people to you…or something like that. Long story short, whoever you surround yourself with is most likely who you’ll be. So, by surrounding yourself with positive people, you’re indirectly helping yourself become a more positive person, even if you’re feeling down. This may be more difficult to do, especially if you don’t know many people in a new city. So just hang in there, and find the right people. Quality over quantity in this situation. And never ever be afraid to ask for help, or just someone to talk to.

#5— Take a step back & say some daily affirmations.

Daily affirmations are a great way to combat new-city loneliness. Truly taking a step back & making yourself aware of what you do have. My list usually consists of: a car, a girlfriend, an apartment, my health, my family, my friends, and a job. That’s just the basics. Sometimes, we get so lost in the chase of what we want, and we forget what we already have. I once read in a book that gratitude is the key to happiness. Being grateful for what you do have may help you have a more positive outlook with your new-city loneliness.

BONUS: #6 — Break down & understand loneliness.

This isn’t as much about a physical thing you can do, but more of a deep dive into your feelings. I recently completed a Headspace meditation course on loneliness, and one of the core lessons of the course was that loneliness itself isn’t an emotion on its own. Loneliness is actually made up of other feelings and usually comes from one, or multiple places. For me, new-city loneliness comes from a place of fear of being alone and sadness of not being able to share life with the people that I love. Yours may be similar or different, but to get through loneliness of any kind, it’s important to take a step back and understand the core of why you’re feeling a certain way.

Takeaways

New-city loneliness, or really any kind of loneliness for that matter is no joke. It’s something seriously difficult to deal with, and takes real effort to overcome. It’s something that I’m still currently working through. As I mentioned at the start of this, I’m no expert, but these are 6 ways I’ve tried to combat new-city loneliness within the last 3 months.

1. Say yes.
2. Do more of the things you love.
3. Get out.
4. Surround yourself with positive people.
5. Take a step back & say some daily affirmations.
6. Bonus: Break down & understand loneliness.

Thank you so much for taking a second to read this. If you loved it, leave me a clap (or two), or even a comment…I’d love to hear from you.

So much love,

Jonnie.