Update: I moved to LA. Here is what I learned after 3 months of moving to a new city.

It legitimately took me 3 months to accept the fact that I live in Los Angeles.

To finally sit down, and fully understand that this place, this geographic location in California, is my new home.

It’s kind of strange.

I’ve given up on the idea that I’m missing out on sharing life with the people that I love, and more so am trying to now fill my time by doing things that I love, as well as finding other people out here in LA to share those things with. If you live in LA, and you’re into hiking, food, or the beach, hit me up. I’m serious. My treat.

Nevertheless, it’s been a whopping 3 months, and that’s hard to believe. 3 whole months of me living in a totally brand new city. So I figured I’d update you guys after my last blog where I chatted about what I learned after 1 month of moving to a new city. I’ve learned, I’ve grown, in some ways, I’m a different man. Here is what I learned after 3 months of moving to LA.

#1 — Moving anywhere is going to be hard, and you will get lonely. It’s inevitable, but it actually does get easier over time.

I’ve been writing a lot about loneliness lately. Truthfully, I’ve been struggling with it. However, over this last week or so, things have gotten easier. Thanks to the amazing people that I do know, I was convinced and encouraged to reach out to people to make plans. And guess what? It worked.

I make plans to go hiking, to grab drinks, to get dinner, to watch a sunset, to do things that I already go and do alone. Might as well do them with someone else.

So, it is inevitable. Getting lonely will happen when you move somewhere new.

But I promise you this. Give yourself the time and space to adjust. And when you’re ready, reach out to people. Make friends. And go do things that you already do, just with other people. It will help and it’ll make the loneliness you’re experiencing, if you are, a lot easier.

#2 — “People make the place.” — Malik Hall

When one of my best friends said this, I stopped.

“He’s right”, I thought to myself.

People really do make the place. Think about that.

When you surround yourself with people that bring you joy, you feel good. When you surround yourself with people that bring you sadness, you feel bad.

The same goes for the city that you live in. If you know a lot of really awesome people, your chances of happiness in that city increase drastically.

#3 — Give yourself what you need at all times.

Adjusting to a new city is difficult. Maybe one of the hardest things I’ve ever had to do.

In fact, I didn’t even realize how many people actually leave a city after a couple of months of moving there. Why? Because of the difficulty.

So I say this. Give yourself what you need to adjust. And don’t be afraid to do so.

Go on a Target run, at 10pm, and spend $100 if that makes you happy. PS — that makes me happy. (:

Go jump in your car and drive to get a breath of fresh air.

Turn on some jazz music and go people watch.

These are all things that I give myself when I’m having a hard time adjusting.

#4 — Fill your life with things outside of work. Have a life. Get outside.

I say this one with a grain of salt.

Sometimes when adjusting to a new city, work is the only thing that keeps you busy, and that is okay.

But when you’re ready, take that leap of faith and get outside.

There’s something special to throwing yourself out into the world and getting lost in it. Be a tourist in your own city. Say hi to a stranger at a coffee shop.

#5 — You’re never stuck. Don’t be afraid to hop on a flight (or drive) & go home for a week. It helps.

You really are never stuck. Even if it may feel that way.

Luckily I have a job that doesn’t require me to be in the office, even if you do, take time off of work.

To me, there’s nothing better than hopping on a flight and flying home for a week to hang out with my family, and see my dogs. There’s something really special about it.

So, if life ever gets you overwhelmed, that is always an option.

Rundown

• It took me 3 months to accept that I live in LA — it took my friend 20 years and he still doesn’t accept it. Take your time.
• It’s inevitable to feel lonely at first, but as long as you put work into it, it’ll get easier over time. Even without putting work into it, it’ll naturally get better.
• People really do make the place. For the good and the bad.
• Always always always give yourself what you need to adjust. Adjusting to anything is hard.
• Have a life outside of work, but even if you don’t at first, it’s all good. Get lost in work.
• You can always fly home to break up the overwhelming feeling of needing to adjust to a new city. It’ll help you get out of your head.

Thanks for reading!

So much love to all of you,

Jonnie.